Last week it rained and rained and rained. In the pauses between the rains, the robins sang. That was the first sign that spring had come.
This week the weather alternated between cold and warm, sunny and gray. Each morning before seven I looked out my window to see a brightening streak of blue cutting through the dark sky.
I remember now what it means to leave for a walk at five in the evening and not have to brace myself for darkness or outfit myself with reflective gear and flashing lights. I remember what it means to watch the sky change as I walk instead of tightening my hood in defense of pelting rain.
I remember now that nourishment isn’t just about eating stuff that tastes good, but also eating foods that offer nutrients, things that are green, orange, and red—things that crunch.
I remember now that what it means to move through my day with a small fire inside of me, to experience the day as a landscape to explore rather than a checklist to complete.
This morning the sky cleared and I brought my sons on a hike to the water’s edge. Along the trail, Smoke entertained me with theories about how trees had fallen (thieves with chainsaws), and Stump stopped at every puddle and called it the beach. For nearly an hour, no one whined. The forest cleared, and we arrived at the beach in time to witness a surprise: dozens of sailboats gliding across the bay.
I was surprised to realize that, for the moment, I was doing the exact thing I wanted to be doing, meaning I didn’t wish I was in Hawaii instead, or writing instead, or watching TV, or sitting in a hot tub. I just wanted to be there, on the beach, watching the sailboats while Smoke collected rocks and Stump hit water with a stick.
Of course in the moment of noticing that I was content where I was, I realized how often the opposite is true, how easy it is to long for elsewhere.
I think of my family members in New England and imagine the snow piled up past their windowsills. I imagine them trapped inside winter, tiny little shoots of green sleeping under snow banks.
I don’t envy my New England friends, but I want to be there on the day that winter begins to melt, that first day you step outside and can actually hear the water dripping, can sense that the snow has begun its return back to the source.
Come Monday morning, in my dark cave of an office, I’ll be feeling like those sleeping greens, craving elsewhere, wishing for light.
Dripping icesicles today for the first time since December, and the sky was pink at 5:30p.m. I am starting to believe spring may actually arrive.
Nice. If not now, soon.
Ah, yes. Spring. I’ve heard of it.
You’ve reminded me that under our 3 feet of snow something beautiful awaits. For now we’ll grab some sleds and make the best of it.
Just beautiful. Enjoy the coming of spring for the rest of us!
That does make me long for some snow. We haven’t glimpsed it here this year.
Reading your description, I felt I was right there on the beach with you and the boys, and enjoying it. Thanks for the brief glimpse of such a day!
Glad you were with us in spirit!
I love that profundity in a seemingly simple moment that on the inside is a grand event unfolding. I know that feeling… to know you are exactly where you want to be right now… and how it must be savored because the moment, like every other, turns into the next.
“A grand event unfolding”. I love that. I want to carry it around with me.